A part of me feels one way...

Often we are 'of two minds' about many things. We have 'aspects of our personality' that show up to work, at home, and in our relationships. They don't always agree with one another about the best way to act or the best choices to make. Whenever we feel inner conflict or find ourselves acting out, it's one or more parts of us that are activating and 'running the show'.

We can think of these aspects or 'parts' as members of an internal family. They can present as voices in our heads, sensations in our body, characters or images we love, or personas or attitudes we take on when interacting with others. And just like human families, inner families can operate in functional or dysfunctional ways.

Each 'part' has its own perspective and unique inner life inside your body and/or mind. Some parts take on roles to help us manage our day-to-day. Others show up when we get distressed or angry. Their ways of 'helping' might not always be the best, but each part of us has a good intention toward our survival. It's trying to help, and has a lot of wisdom. It might also be very tired from having done a difficult job in your system for a long time. It needs help finding a better way of being within you.

Internal families have a natural central leadership energy, which we don't experience quite like a part. In IFS we call it the Self. In the adjacent picture, Self would be like the while lines surrounding all the parts. It surrounds and supports every part in the system without exception.

We work together to welcome whatever shows up inside of you.

IFS sessions are Client-led. Coach and client work to identify whatever parts are showing up in the present moment or surrounding an issue. You'll be supported in getting to know parts one at a time, to learn about their positive intentions, and help them integrate more effectively into the inner family as a whole. If there are conflicts or polarizations, we work to understand the perspectives of all sides. When parts feel heard and understood, their extreme behaviors often diminish naturally.

We aim to interact with each part separately from the emotions of other parts in the system, so we can hear each voice clearly. Clients are guided in ways to approach each part with compassion, calm, and curiosity.

Amorette is a Level 1 Trained Practitioner in Internal Family Systems, with well over a decade of experience working with her own inner family.

If you're curious about IFS...

If you're aware of yourself as having 'parts' already, this modality will make a lot of sense to you. Even if you're not, a great way to learn more is to try out a session with a trained practitioner. There are also plenty of resources for doing solo work with your parts once you've gotten to know them and learned some of the methods for supporting them.

Check out https://ifs-institute.com/ or if you're a reader, look up the book "No Bad Parts" by Richard Schwartz. Here's a short video to check out as well:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DFIfSHL11w

Practitioner versus Therapist

I'm an IFS-trained Practitioner, not a licensed therapist. As a coach, I specialize in taking folks from 'okay' to 'really great' and beyond. If you're in a place where you need to move from 'bad' to 'okay', please seek out someone licensed to provide that type of support. If you feel relatively resourced, but stuck and ready to break through or to grow into a new level of yourself, we might be a great fit.

Some of my favorite clients have a regular therapist they see alongside working with me. The IFS we do supports and accelerates their work in therapy, and if we come up against something tied to a very deep trauma, I try to be very cautious and refer my client to see their licensed support person to address the issue before we go further. That said, I truly believe the IFS methodology is a powerful tool which can support the healing of even the most intense harms humans can suffer.

A glimpse at my own parts...

I'm a creative nerd, so a lot of my inner parts early on identified with characters from movies or books, or from role-playing games I played when I was young. I have an inner troublesome imp, an angelic winged pleasure-being, a Dark Lady, a dashing and angst-ridden rock star, several pious and rather staid monks, some machines, a plant spirit, a casino owner, a fairy librarian, and a very boring rock in the bed of a stream, among others. I like to say "I had an inner critic, but he retired and become a bartender." It's been a long and wonderful adventure finding them all and helping them find their place within me, and their roles in my daily life.

As my journey has become more somatic, some of the parts I came to recognize don't show up as characters, images, or voices in my mind. They exist primarily in my body, as a familiar tightness in my stomach, or a restless urge to move my legs in certain ways at certain times. Those parts speak a different language than the words and images I was used to in the earlier days of my journey, but the parts that show up in my body are no less important or dear. Learning to slow down and really hear their stories has been a wonderful experience and changed how I show up in the world. Nowadays, I think of my limbs and muscles and skin as equal members of my system with a life of their own. A good foot massage leaves my feet singing with gratitude that my whole system can hear now. A scrape on my skin has me sending natural disaster response supplies to the cellular citizens of my 'borderlands' as they cry out for help.

There's a compassion and charity I feel toward every piece of me I consciously come to identify as my own, that fills my days with gratitude and pleasure. Each one is a divine gift, inseparable from my whole but unique and special in its own right. Inner conflict isn't eliminated, but my system as a whole deeply trusts that we can find a way through it, even if it's terrible in the moment.

Please know that parts don't have to immediately seem exciting or flashy to be worth getting to know. Often they first present as scary or off-putting, or so slippery we can hardly notice them. Each one will have a beauty all their own, exactly as they show up in each moment, no matter how simple or complex they first seem when we meet them. Most parts they blossom like flowers under our positive regard.

My inner family waves hello to yours, and my compassionate Self stands ready to work with You to welcome each member of your inner team with calm, open curiosity. No agendas-- except to help you hear each part's story, and their desires, as full and welcome members of your system.